A random thought...
With all the hubbub that was raised with the proposed Quran burning in Gainesville, I wonder why everyone reacted the way they did exactly. Not to say that they shouldn't have, because the whole thing was just wrong. But I wonder what their motives for their reactions were.
Did everyone react the way they did because they felt like the pastor was a bad example of a Christian? Was it out of fear that non-believers would say, "Christians are bad. Look at that dude who wanted to burn the Quran. What kind of Christian would do such a thing?" Was it because they felt like the world would view Christians as bad, immoral people and use that as an example to prove their point?
I know one of the top generals for the US military pleaded with the pastor not to go through with it because he thought doing so would elevate violence in the region and would put more soldiers at risk. I wonder if a lot of people were so different in their thinking. Not so much that we would be put in situations where we would need to worry about more insurgent attacks or IEDs... but worry that we would be "attacked" for the actions of a misguided pastor.
Or did everyone react the way they did because they felt like the pastor was reflecting Christ poorly? Did everyone react the way they did because those actions do not show the love of Christ?
Thoughts anyone?
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
During mealtime these last few days, I've just taken some extra time to observe people in the dining hall. A lot of my pet peeves actually are related to manners when it comes to dining... things like chewing with the mouth open, shaking the leg which also shakes the table, etc. So it's actually funny that I chose to observe people in a setting that could potentially make me the most frustrated. It's amazing to see how people act in social settings. The thing that captivated my attention the most wasn't those people who were loud and having a good time... but it was the people who got their food and looked around to see where they could sit... and then realized that they would have to sit alone because they couldn't see anyone they recognized or wanted to socialize with.
It's also really interesting to see how they rectify their social problem. I remember one time I was eating lunch and this one guy from my dorm hall, who I had only briefly met, asked if he could join me in eating lunch because he didn't want to eat alone. To him, an awkward meal with someone else was infinitely better than a meal eaten alone.
It's amazing to see what the need for friends will drive people to do.
"There is a love that goes deeper than the depths of the ocean. There is a power that conquers death. There is a friendship that is deeper than words can express.
It's also really interesting to see how they rectify their social problem. I remember one time I was eating lunch and this one guy from my dorm hall, who I had only briefly met, asked if he could join me in eating lunch because he didn't want to eat alone. To him, an awkward meal with someone else was infinitely better than a meal eaten alone.
It's amazing to see what the need for friends will drive people to do.
"There is a love that goes deeper than the depths of the ocean. There is a power that conquers death. There is a friendship that is deeper than words can express.
The friendship built on these will never fail, even if all hell attacks it. I want a friendship built solidly on the Rock of Jesus Christ, and on nothing else. That is a friendship that will survive against all odds."
A friend of mine posted this. And you know, I think she's onto something.
I've started school again in a new setting, being away (most of the week) from the things I know to be familiar. And one of the things that I miss the most are the people who I got to know with my time with CTI... brothers and sisters who I've had the privilege of walking along side in faith for a year of my life. I've been craving that community almost every day. And thankfully, through the magic of technology (and the small miracle that is me understanding how to actually use it without it imploding from my lack of understanding), I've been able to maintain that sense of community to a certain extent. It's certainly not the same... but it's been good. At least I feel like it has been.
And then I think of the friendships from long ago. I think to the friends I had at one point in time, but no longer can seem to maintain. And even though I'm the type of person who desires friendships to be deep and will pursue that, I find that those friendships just aren't. what. they used to be. simply because we can't even agree on the basics of faith.
There's a piece of scripture that's been coming up a lot lately. I love what it calls us to do. Hebrews 10 says:
19Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, 20by the new and living way that He opened for us through the curtain, that is, through His flesh, 21and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. 23Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. 24And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (ESV)
I love all y'all. Thanks for not just being a part of my life, but helping me draw closer to Christ.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Hope everyone had a good Labor Day weekend. Pardon the fragmented nature of this blog post.
I was thinking these last few days about how I managed to ruin some things because I let my personal desires get in the way. Actually, a lot of things. Friendships. Working relationships. Even my educational path.
What a sad way to spend my time, right? Regretting things and wondering, "What could have been" because at the time, I did ask, "What can this be if I were to do this or that?" and acted on that. And after much thought, I came to the conclusion that I was totally an idiot. I came to the conclusion that deep down, I felt like I needed to control the situation and just acted.
Maybe some of y'all who read this are experiencing what I went through. Maybe things just aren't going the way that you thought they would. Finances. Friendships. And everything in you is screaming, "DO SOMETHING! YOU'RE KILLING ME SMALLS." Whatever. But just take a moment. Relax.
There's a song by Hillsong titled "Second Chance". Listen to it and read along with the lyrics.
You called my name, reached out your hand,
Restored my life, and I was redeemed,
The moment you entered my life,
Amazing grace, Christ gave that day,
My life was changed,
Went from my shoulders, fell the weight of my sin
So it's with everything I am,
I reach out for your hand,
The hope that changed a second chance I've gained,
On you I throw my life, casting all my fears aside,
How could greater love than this, ever possibly exist
Consume my thoughts, as I rest in you, I'm now in love, with a Saviour, Bearing the marks of his love
So I wait upon you now,
With my hands released to you,
Where a little faiths enough,
To see mountains lift and move,
Yeah and I wait upon you now,
Dedicated to your will,
To this love that will remain,
A love that never fails
It says in the book of Matthew, "Seek FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
I think in all those situations that I somewhat regret, I wasn't seeking His kingdom, His righteousness. Rather, I think I was satisfying a desire to make things better.
It's interesting that the section heading in my bible says, "Do not be anxious" I don't think I was being anxious about the things... rather, I suppose I wasn't willing to see the big picture. Or maybe that IS being anxious... not waiting to see everything unfold in His time.
The word says that God provides the birds of the air with everything. The flowers of the field. Jesus provided EVERYTHING we would need, no? Our eternal salvation. And I think we often times forget to remember that ultimately, that's what we need. When we don't seek His face, seek His kingdom, His righteousness, we lose sight of the importance of what Jesus did.
I was so wrapped up in seeing if I could make things work out to provide a better (honestly speaking, easier, more comfortable) situation for myself, that I had a momentary lapse in realizing that the Lord had already provided everything I would need.
I think in order to seek the kingdom, you need to start by realizing that there is a King. If you don't recognize or know that there is a king, how do you know that the king reigns over a kingdom? Know our King Jesus. And realize what He did for us. Receive the grace that the Lord has poured out.
Also, accept the forgiveness that He offers through the cross.
Let's strive to remember our Lord for what He has done. Seek Him daily. Give thanks to Him. Rest in His presence.
Thank you Father.
I was thinking these last few days about how I managed to ruin some things because I let my personal desires get in the way. Actually, a lot of things. Friendships. Working relationships. Even my educational path.
What a sad way to spend my time, right? Regretting things and wondering, "What could have been" because at the time, I did ask, "What can this be if I were to do this or that?" and acted on that. And after much thought, I came to the conclusion that I was totally an idiot. I came to the conclusion that deep down, I felt like I needed to control the situation and just acted.
Maybe some of y'all who read this are experiencing what I went through. Maybe things just aren't going the way that you thought they would. Finances. Friendships. And everything in you is screaming, "DO SOMETHING! YOU'RE KILLING ME SMALLS." Whatever. But just take a moment. Relax.
There's a song by Hillsong titled "Second Chance". Listen to it and read along with the lyrics.
You called my name, reached out your hand,
Restored my life, and I was redeemed,
The moment you entered my life,
Amazing grace, Christ gave that day,
My life was changed,
Went from my shoulders, fell the weight of my sin
So it's with everything I am,
I reach out for your hand,
The hope that changed a second chance I've gained,
On you I throw my life, casting all my fears aside,
How could greater love than this, ever possibly exist
Consume my thoughts, as I rest in you, I'm now in love, with a Saviour, Bearing the marks of his love
So I wait upon you now,
With my hands released to you,
Where a little faiths enough,
To see mountains lift and move,
Yeah and I wait upon you now,
Dedicated to your will,
To this love that will remain,
A love that never fails
It says in the book of Matthew, "Seek FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
I think in all those situations that I somewhat regret, I wasn't seeking His kingdom, His righteousness. Rather, I think I was satisfying a desire to make things better.
It's interesting that the section heading in my bible says, "Do not be anxious" I don't think I was being anxious about the things... rather, I suppose I wasn't willing to see the big picture. Or maybe that IS being anxious... not waiting to see everything unfold in His time.
The word says that God provides the birds of the air with everything. The flowers of the field. Jesus provided EVERYTHING we would need, no? Our eternal salvation. And I think we often times forget to remember that ultimately, that's what we need. When we don't seek His face, seek His kingdom, His righteousness, we lose sight of the importance of what Jesus did.
I was so wrapped up in seeing if I could make things work out to provide a better (honestly speaking, easier, more comfortable) situation for myself, that I had a momentary lapse in realizing that the Lord had already provided everything I would need.
I think in order to seek the kingdom, you need to start by realizing that there is a King. If you don't recognize or know that there is a king, how do you know that the king reigns over a kingdom? Know our King Jesus. And realize what He did for us. Receive the grace that the Lord has poured out.
Also, accept the forgiveness that He offers through the cross.
Let's strive to remember our Lord for what He has done. Seek Him daily. Give thanks to Him. Rest in His presence.
Thank you Father.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
These past couple weeks, I had an opportunity to think a lot about different things. One of the things that kept coming up was in response to a sermon on Matthew 9.
"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, 'The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.' And he called to him his twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal every disease and every affliction."
I kept thinking about the first bit... how Jesus had compassion for the crowds because He saw them as harassed and helpless.
I got to thinking exactly why I decided to do a FT year with CTI. As I was listening to this sermon and as I kept reflecting on that bit of the passage, it was then that I remembered why I wanted to do FT specifically.
I thought about who I saw as harassed and helpless. I thought back to the outreach trips to Tampa I took. There were so many times when I was there where it just didn't sit right with me. It wasn't that I was in a dangerous part of the country. It wasn't the time where some guy pulled a knife out on me. I remember thinking, "This place is only an hour and a half from home. There are families here who are torn apart by addictions to drugs, greed, lust, alcohol abuse. The neglect of the state when it comes to the education of the students who live there. Why is it that the people here know there's something more but have lost hope in something better? How is there such brokenness this close to the town I live in?" I then brought it back some, thinking of everything going on around in my life. Seeing the brokenness in my family. The bitterness of family drama plaguing my dad, weighing heavily on his heart, so much to the point where he couldn't eat or sleep and had to occupy himself with doing something. Literally working himself to death.
I remember looking at the CTI website and looking at the difference between the two programs they offer... and I recall seeing that if I were to join a full time team, we'd have the chance to go around the US. And I remember all of those faces and emotions just came flooding in. I remember being so bothered by the fact that there's so much brokenness right here in our country.
There's a song that the new wave of FTers for CTI are doing. It's by Luminate, titled Shine (Love is an Action).
I want to strike a match
Let it burn ‘til the world’s on fire
I want to see a chain reaction
And see the flames burn higher
I want to see Your Word alive I want to see the orphans laughing
Want to see the sinners cry Surrounded by the hands of mercy
The hands of mercy, so
Shine, love is an action
Shine, oh, it starts with a passion
‘Cause we want to be a heart that’s pure
So all will see that we are Yours
Shine
And though it starts with one
There will be a million candles
There will be millions more
Singing with the tongues of angels
The light of Heaven falling down Spreading love to the darkest places
I want to strike a match And watch it bring salvation
I’m gonna lift my light up high
(Love is an action)
I’m gonna let my love burn bright
(It starts with a passion)
I’m gonna lift my light up high
(So all will see that we are Yours)
I’m gonna let my love burn bright
(Let it burn, let it burn)
I want to strike a match
Let it burn, Let it burn
I’ll let it burn
I remember wanting to go out and minister to those who I thought were harassed and helpless. And the Lord provided those opportunities to do that through CTI.
Who in your life do you see as harassed and helpless? Do you want to see the word alive? Let's be the hands of mercy to these people.
What does that look like in your life? Maybe bearing with the awkwardness as you sit with the lonely person during lunch. Or just listening to what people are going through and speaking truth into their life. Maybe that means giving to missionaries so their work can be done.
In all things, pray earnestly to the Lord. Be filled by the Lord.
Hope y'all are doing great!
"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, 'The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.' And he called to him his twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal every disease and every affliction."
I kept thinking about the first bit... how Jesus had compassion for the crowds because He saw them as harassed and helpless.
I got to thinking exactly why I decided to do a FT year with CTI. As I was listening to this sermon and as I kept reflecting on that bit of the passage, it was then that I remembered why I wanted to do FT specifically.
I thought about who I saw as harassed and helpless. I thought back to the outreach trips to Tampa I took. There were so many times when I was there where it just didn't sit right with me. It wasn't that I was in a dangerous part of the country. It wasn't the time where some guy pulled a knife out on me. I remember thinking, "This place is only an hour and a half from home. There are families here who are torn apart by addictions to drugs, greed, lust, alcohol abuse. The neglect of the state when it comes to the education of the students who live there. Why is it that the people here know there's something more but have lost hope in something better? How is there such brokenness this close to the town I live in?" I then brought it back some, thinking of everything going on around in my life. Seeing the brokenness in my family. The bitterness of family drama plaguing my dad, weighing heavily on his heart, so much to the point where he couldn't eat or sleep and had to occupy himself with doing something. Literally working himself to death.
I remember looking at the CTI website and looking at the difference between the two programs they offer... and I recall seeing that if I were to join a full time team, we'd have the chance to go around the US. And I remember all of those faces and emotions just came flooding in. I remember being so bothered by the fact that there's so much brokenness right here in our country.
There's a song that the new wave of FTers for CTI are doing. It's by Luminate, titled Shine (Love is an Action).
I want to strike a match
Let it burn ‘til the world’s on fire
I want to see a chain reaction
And see the flames burn higher
I want to see Your Word alive I want to see the orphans laughing
Want to see the sinners cry Surrounded by the hands of mercy
The hands of mercy, so
Shine, love is an action
Shine, oh, it starts with a passion
‘Cause we want to be a heart that’s pure
So all will see that we are Yours
Shine
And though it starts with one
There will be a million candles
There will be millions more
Singing with the tongues of angels
The light of Heaven falling down Spreading love to the darkest places
I want to strike a match And watch it bring salvation
I’m gonna lift my light up high
(Love is an action)
I’m gonna let my love burn bright
(It starts with a passion)
I’m gonna lift my light up high
(So all will see that we are Yours)
I’m gonna let my love burn bright
(Let it burn, let it burn)
I want to strike a match
Let it burn, Let it burn
I’ll let it burn
I remember wanting to go out and minister to those who I thought were harassed and helpless. And the Lord provided those opportunities to do that through CTI.
Who in your life do you see as harassed and helpless? Do you want to see the word alive? Let's be the hands of mercy to these people.
What does that look like in your life? Maybe bearing with the awkwardness as you sit with the lonely person during lunch. Or just listening to what people are going through and speaking truth into their life. Maybe that means giving to missionaries so their work can be done.
In all things, pray earnestly to the Lord. Be filled by the Lord.
Hope y'all are doing great!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
A few weeks ago, I came across a band called Gungor. They had a pretty interesting concept for leading worship. In any case, I heard this song, kinda forgot about it because I didn't buy the album. But then I heard this song again last night at my school's back to school worship event.
Gungor- Beautiful Things.
All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
Honestly, I've felt crappy these last few days. Thinking back to some of the things, some of the ways where things went wrong in the past, things recent, all really piled on top and made me feel super awful inside. These things, feelings of inadequacy, failure, all of that, crept in again. Thank the Lord that HE restores. That HE makes all things beautiful.
And it's a struggle to understand this at times. But I think that fixating on the fact that maybe my failures are just too much is in actuality indicative of a heart that doesn't fully believe in the saving power of Jesus. Maybe. I need to just get over my self-righteousness.
Blah.
When I shared with a friend of mine that I had a lot of distractions, all of these things on my mind, they told me to let it go. "What other choice do you have..."
Thank YOU Jesus. That you saw me. That you saw US. Our sins. Our struggles. And yet loved so much to give it all. Help us to remember that YOU are all that is needed.
Gungor- Beautiful Things.
All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
Honestly, I've felt crappy these last few days. Thinking back to some of the things, some of the ways where things went wrong in the past, things recent, all really piled on top and made me feel super awful inside. These things, feelings of inadequacy, failure, all of that, crept in again. Thank the Lord that HE restores. That HE makes all things beautiful.
And it's a struggle to understand this at times. But I think that fixating on the fact that maybe my failures are just too much is in actuality indicative of a heart that doesn't fully believe in the saving power of Jesus. Maybe. I need to just get over my self-righteousness.
Blah.
When I shared with a friend of mine that I had a lot of distractions, all of these things on my mind, they told me to let it go. "What other choice do you have..."
Thank YOU Jesus. That you saw me. That you saw US. Our sins. Our struggles. And yet loved so much to give it all. Help us to remember that YOU are all that is needed.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
it's been a month?
hello all who read this blog.
So a month has already passed by since my last official day with CTI Music Ministries as a Full-time team member. Since then, the Lord's been revealing Himself to me in many ways. Even in the times of struggle and hardship, it's unmistakable that He is moving.
This past week, I had an opportunity to attend the Harvest retreat, put on by Servant's Ministry in Virginia. LOTS of crazy stuff happened during times of sharing, prayer, preaching of the word, and worship. I think the Lord's shown me a lot, not necessarily in a crazy, miraculous way like some of the students experienced, but in very odd, subtle ways.
One of the things that the Lord revealed was through the Washington Monument in D.C. There's a lot to say about this monument... but this kinda caught my eye. "Upon completion (officially opened in 1888), it became the world's tallest structure. The monument held this designation until 1889, when the Eiffel Tower was completed in Paris, France"
So this monument was the standard of excellence for about a year. It's not even that great... the original proposed plot of land wasn't good enough and so they ended up putting it where it is, they ran out of money to build it and then couldn't get marble from the same quarry so the color is a little off. They also spent tons of money for an aluminum tip for it. But then the price for aluminum had plummeted two years later because a new way to process it was discovered. And this was before the monument was officially opened to the public.
So, imagine my surprise when the group of 7 other guys I was with would do everything to go see this monument. Here are some of the events that had occurred previously in the day and the day before:
So when we got to the memorial... this discolored, marble obelisk, shining high above the skyline of our nation's capitol, a feat of engineering that was at one point in time, great, now obsolete... imagine my surprise at the expressions of sheer joy on these guy's faces. "We're here! OMG! I can't believe we made it. Quick! Let's take pictures so we can remember this moment for years to come"
And as we took these pictures that are on this blog post (picture credits to Albert Kang), laughed, had a good time, took a minute to look back at the obscene amounts of miles we walked to get where we were, wipe the sweat from our brows, one question kept ringing in my head.
This sort of desire to see something. To experience something. To touch, taste, smell, etc. I see this all the time. Look around. People pay thousands of dollars to experience things as trivial as the best jello ever. People will work themselves to the bone to get that shiny new car. Or house. But why not when it comes to seeking the presence of the Lord?
There's another thing like the Washington Monument. An old Roman torture device, a couple pieces of blood-stained lumber.
When Christ died, the world viewed this as a huge utter failure. But that's not where the story ends, right? Christ defeated death and rose from the grave. The answer to life's problems... all out of an act of love for us.
I thought to myself, "When was the last time we approached the foot of the cross this way? And why does the mercy and grace of Jesus NOT MOVE people to loving action each and every day? Why is it that the only time we strive to see Christ is at spiritual functions like church services. or retreats. or small group meetings?"
"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. " (1 Cor 1:18)
Friends, I want to encourage us to continue to go before the foot of the cross. Let's PURSUE after Christ, our first love, much like we are inclined to pursue after other things. And let's not stop there. Let's not forsake our first love for the things of this world. But let's seek after Him first.
So a month has already passed by since my last official day with CTI Music Ministries as a Full-time team member. Since then, the Lord's been revealing Himself to me in many ways. Even in the times of struggle and hardship, it's unmistakable that He is moving.
This past week, I had an opportunity to attend the Harvest retreat, put on by Servant's Ministry in Virginia. LOTS of crazy stuff happened during times of sharing, prayer, preaching of the word, and worship. I think the Lord's shown me a lot, not necessarily in a crazy, miraculous way like some of the students experienced, but in very odd, subtle ways.
One of the things that the Lord revealed was through the Washington Monument in D.C. There's a lot to say about this monument... but this kinda caught my eye. "Upon completion (officially opened in 1888), it became the world's tallest structure. The monument held this designation until 1889, when the Eiffel Tower was completed in Paris, France"
So this monument was the standard of excellence for about a year. It's not even that great... the original proposed plot of land wasn't good enough and so they ended up putting it where it is, they ran out of money to build it and then couldn't get marble from the same quarry so the color is a little off. They also spent tons of money for an aluminum tip for it. But then the price for aluminum had plummeted two years later because a new way to process it was discovered. And this was before the monument was officially opened to the public.
So, imagine my surprise when the group of 7 other guys I was with would do everything to go see this monument. Here are some of the events that had occurred previously in the day and the day before:- a few of us were sick with some cold or stomach flu.
- we had JUST finished a retreat, where we averaged about 4-5 hours of sleep a night.
- this was after a 16 hour drive from Florida to Virginia.
- we were dehydrated
- we ate to our heart's delight (and our stomach) the night before at a Korean meat buffet. imagine how college students take advantage of buffets. and how lack of bathrooms might make things. um. unpleasant.
- we had walked all around DC, non-stop, hitting up every monument and museum we could come across, from lunchtime around dinnertime.
- "I know we're tired and don't wanna walk more. but I'm willing to pay for bus fare. and I'll pay for you if you don't have cash"
- "Even though we're in DC and there's all this new, delicious food around, I'd rather eat somewhere really cheap and fast like McDonald's so we can go see it(the monuments) and leave on time for Orlando"
So when we got to the memorial... this discolored, marble obelisk, shining high above the skyline of our nation's capitol, a feat of engineering that was at one point in time, great, now obsolete... imagine my surprise at the expressions of sheer joy on these guy's faces. "We're here! OMG! I can't believe we made it. Quick! Let's take pictures so we can remember this moment for years to come"
And as we took these pictures that are on this blog post (picture credits to Albert Kang), laughed, had a good time, took a minute to look back at the obscene amounts of miles we walked to get where we were, wipe the sweat from our brows, one question kept ringing in my head.This sort of desire to see something. To experience something. To touch, taste, smell, etc. I see this all the time. Look around. People pay thousands of dollars to experience things as trivial as the best jello ever. People will work themselves to the bone to get that shiny new car. Or house. But why not when it comes to seeking the presence of the Lord?
There's another thing like the Washington Monument. An old Roman torture device, a couple pieces of blood-stained lumber.
When Christ died, the world viewed this as a huge utter failure. But that's not where the story ends, right? Christ defeated death and rose from the grave. The answer to life's problems... all out of an act of love for us.
I thought to myself, "When was the last time we approached the foot of the cross this way? And why does the mercy and grace of Jesus NOT MOVE people to loving action each and every day? Why is it that the only time we strive to see Christ is at spiritual functions like church services. or retreats. or small group meetings?"
"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. " (1 Cor 1:18)
Friends, I want to encourage us to continue to go before the foot of the cross. Let's PURSUE after Christ, our first love, much like we are inclined to pursue after other things. And let's not stop there. Let's not forsake our first love for the things of this world. But let's seek after Him first.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Last week, I experienced something that was so frightening, that I just felt compelled to share with y'all what I learned.
Last week, in Sioux Falls, SD, I sat down and took a nap shortly after we had arrived. I LOOOOVVVVEEE taking naps. Nothing gets me feeling more refreshed, except maybe some gold bond and a cold shower on a hot Florida day. Anyways, as I was taking this nap, I remember regaining consciousness and thinking, "wow, this chair I'm sleeping on is really comfortable. Wait, why is everything getting so loud?" I remember trying to open my eyes to see what was going on... and to my surprise, I couldn't open them. And in a sheer panic, I remember trying to move my arms and legs, and not being able to. And during this time, things were getting louder and louder, and I remember bright colors and flashes of light. And upon realizing that I had no control over that, I remember trying to yell for help to my teammates... and being completely helpless. All I was able to do was hyperventilate.
I knew what had happened. In Korean, it's called 가위눌림 (gawee nuleem), which literally translates to "being pressed down with scissors." I don't know why it's called that, but it's known as sleep paralysis in the states.
So why do I bring up this horrific event? I bring this up because I've come to realized that this is how we can live our lives sometimes. See, the entire time I was dealing with this sleep paralysis, not once did I think to pray for help. Not once did I think to ask Almighty God, who made me, to help me regain control over my bodily functions. The entire time, I was going, "maybe if I try real hard, I can open my eyes." Or, "my teammates are sitting around me... they'll see that I'm struggling and they'll do something to get me conscious." I was trying to do all I could do, despite the fact that the reason why this was happening was because I didn't have control over it all.
And so often, we do that with our struggles, right? I've realized that in the midst of struggles, often times, God is the last one we turn to. We try and try to do things on our terms... and when nothing ever seems to work, we almost have this attitude of, "everything else has failed, what have I got to lose by asking God?" But we try to justify it and say, "I'm doing the Christian thing... I'm depending on God to do mighty things." And eventually we present our requests to God. And then when God DOES move in ways unimaginable to us, we always act surprised... don't we?
I know that in times of struggles it's so easy to get carried away with being anxious. And a lot of us on this team experience this right now as we are looking to the future after CTI. And often times, it's so easy to get frustrated at the situation... for me, it was frustrating to know that I was completely helpless and couldn't move. And I tried EVERYTHING in MY power to try and get my body to respond. And I started to grumble. I was asking why this was happening.
Maybe this is similar to what's going on in your lives. Maybe there's a hard situation at home. Or maybe at work. Maybe money is tight because of some unforseen events. Health problems. Fill in the blanks. And we try so hard to do things on our own terms. And then after we try to do things and come to the realization that we are absolutely helpless to make it work out, we get so angry at God sometimes, asking, "why is this happening?" So often, we can't see past our own pridefulness to see a God who is so mighty and is ready to move in our lives. Don't we try so hard to make things happen because we feel so equipped and ready to do it on our own?
Friends, I want to encourage you to take the example written in Philippians 4.
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God (ESV)
Paul says, do not be anxious. He calls us to have attitudes of thankfulness and to go before our God in prayer.
My pastor back home continually reminds us that prayer is so vital. He says, "until we see that life is war, we will not know what prayer is for." Friends, life is war... and so often, we're pinned down and helpless to do anything. And we HAVE to pray to our God. He is ALWAYS listening and will do anything and everything to let HIS glory be known. And if we come before Him and expect Him to move in big ways, He will never fail us.
It's so easy to pick on all the things that aren't going well in our lives. But, instead of looking at the things that aren't going as we planned, let's focus on the times that we were helpless and God moved in mighty ways. And as we reflect on those moment, give thanks for those times and give all the glory, honor, and praise back to Him. Because our God is a God who is mighty to save! This is our God!
So I hope this encourages y'all!
Please keep us in your prayers... we only have 5 or so days left together and then summer ministry will start! We're all excited to see how God will move in the lives of the incoming summer team members.
Until next time. Cheers,
Jon
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