Last week, I experienced something that was so frightening, that I just felt compelled to share with y'all what I learned.

Last week, in Sioux Falls, SD, I sat down and took a nap shortly after we had arrived. I LOOOOVVVVEEE taking naps. Nothing gets me feeling more refreshed, except maybe some gold bond and a cold shower on a hot Florida day. Anyways, as I was taking this nap, I remember regaining consciousness and thinking, "wow, this chair I'm sleeping on is really comfortable. Wait, why is everything getting so loud?" I remember trying to open my eyes to see what was going on... and to my surprise, I couldn't open them. And in a sheer panic, I remember trying to move my arms and legs, and not being able to. And during this time, things were getting louder and louder, and I remember bright colors and flashes of light. And upon realizing that I had no control over that, I remember trying to yell for help to my teammates... and being completely helpless. All I was able to do was hyperventilate.

I knew what had happened. In Korean, it's called 가위눌림 (gawee nuleem), which literally translates to "being pressed down with scissors." I don't know why it's called that, but it's known as sleep paralysis in the states.

So why do I bring up this horrific event? I bring this up because I've come to realized that this is how we can live our lives sometimes. See, the entire time I was dealing with this sleep paralysis, not once did I think to pray for help. Not once did I think to ask Almighty God, who made me, to help me regain control over my bodily functions. The entire time, I was going, "maybe if I try real hard, I can open my eyes." Or, "my teammates are sitting around me... they'll see that I'm struggling and they'll do something to get me conscious." I was trying to do all I could do, despite the fact that the reason why this was happening was because I didn't have control over it all.

And so often, we do that with our struggles, right? I've realized that in the midst of struggles, often times, God is the last one we turn to. We try and try to do things on our terms... and when nothing ever seems to work, we almost have this attitude of, "everything else has failed, what have I got to lose by asking God?" But we try to justify it and say, "I'm doing the Christian thing... I'm depending on God to do mighty things." And eventually we present our requests to God. And then when God DOES move in ways unimaginable to us, we always act surprised... don't we?

I know that in times of struggles it's so easy to get carried away with being anxious. And a lot of us on this team experience this right now as we are looking to the future after CTI. And often times, it's so easy to get frustrated at the situation... for me, it was frustrating to know that I was completely helpless and couldn't move. And I tried EVERYTHING in MY power to try and get my body to respond. And I started to grumble. I was asking why this was happening.

Maybe this is similar to what's going on in your lives. Maybe there's a hard situation at home. Or maybe at work. Maybe money is tight because of some unforseen events. Health problems. Fill in the blanks. And we try so hard to do things on our own terms. And then after we try to do things and come to the realization that we are absolutely helpless to make it work out, we get so angry at God sometimes, asking, "why is this happening?" So often, we can't see past our own pridefulness to see a God who is so mighty and is ready to move in our lives. Don't we try so hard to make things happen because we feel so equipped and ready to do it on our own?

Friends, I want to encourage you to take the example written in Philippians 4.

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God (ESV)

Paul says, do not be anxious. He calls us to have attitudes of thankfulness and to go before our God in prayer.

My pastor back home continually reminds us that prayer is so vital. He says, "until we see that life is war, we will not know what prayer is for." Friends, life is war... and so often, we're pinned down and helpless to do anything. And we HAVE to pray to our God. He is ALWAYS listening and will do anything and everything to let HIS glory be known. And if we come before Him and expect Him to move in big ways, He will never fail us.

It's so easy to pick on all the things that aren't going well in our lives. But, instead of looking at the things that aren't going as we planned, let's focus on the times that we were helpless and God moved in mighty ways. And as we reflect on those moment, give thanks for those times and give all the glory, honor, and praise back to Him. Because our God is a God who is mighty to save! This is our God!

So I hope this encourages y'all!

Please keep us in your prayers... we only have 5 or so days left together and then summer ministry will start! We're all excited to see how God will move in the lives of the incoming summer team members.

Until next time. Cheers,
Jon