Hey y'all.

So last week on our drive up to Northern Virginia, we were involved in a small accident. Luckily, everyone was safe and unharmed and there were no other cars involved. What happened was, the driver had slightly lost control of the vehicle and ended up hitting a guard rail. It wasn't due to the weather or anything. How that happened isn't really important.

Thankfully, our van still runs. The damage to the van is all cosmetic. The majority of the hit was taken by our trailer. The hit had bent the axle, ruptured the hubs, and the wheels were sitting unevenly. The fender also bent in and tore a gash in the sidewall of the tire and bent the wheel slightly.



Reflecting back on those few seconds, and looking back at the scene of the accident and all that occurred between the collision to our brief trek to a nearby rest stop, and the eventual fixing of our trailer, got me thinking about a few things. Actually, more like reminded of a few things.

I think the major thing is the simple fact that nothing in life is guaranteed. So many times, we take the frailty of life lightly. If we had gone another 200 or so yards, we could have easily ended up in a ditch. The guard rail we hit was pretty randomly placed and very short. This was a well needed wake up call I think.

Going off on a tangent, as I'm going through the process of praying about and thinking of my next steps in life after CTI is over, there are so many times where I just automatically assume that I'll have that time. And, sadly, this process of thinking ahead, worrying about it, and feeling extremely stressed and pressured by everyone, has made me neglect the task at hand. There have been so many times where I'll be asked by a host family, "What are you planning on doing after CTI?" and I just respond, "I have no idea." and stress out about it for days on end. And because I'm focusing on that, I can't give the minstry opportunities at hand my 100%. And so many times, I reflect back on those few days, and justify that by saying, "oh there's still a few more months of ministry left." Isn't that sad? Thinking about that kinda makes me sad. I can't help but think, "what if, during those few days, where I said it was ok to not focus completely on the task God has given, someone didn't get a chance to hear the message of Christ?"

Now I know that someone's salvation doesn't hinge on the gospel according to Jon Lee. And I know that God doesn't NEED to use me in this way. Quite honestly, it's still hard for me to fully comprehend the depths of the love and grace that God pours out. It's like... everything we do is flawed. And yet, God delights in that... as long as we respond to the call. God reminded me, and continues to remind me that I shouldn't focus on being perfect in my service... but that I should focus on serving the perfect God. But does the justification of my lack of enthusiasm or focus stem from my simple inability to do things right? No. Friends, I know this stems from a heart of entitlement. This thing that I've been battling from the start, and even before, full-time ministry. And I need to shed this nasty heart. It's almost like, I'm demanding God to give me clarity with the next steps in life because I'm currently doing what He called me to do. But I'm forgetting the fact that I'm only doing what I'm doing BECAUSE He made it possible. It wasn't by anything that I did. Going back to the first point, nothing is guaranteed.

Which, I guess, brings me to the next thing. The next thing is just the fact that God has a plan for everything. I dunno why this accident happened. I don't know what's next in store for me. I don't even know why I'm spilling some of my deepest struggles for everyone to see. Or just those 2 who happen to read this. (does anyone actually read this?) Or why I'm having these struggles that I'm writing about. But I think it goes to show that things may not always make sense, but in His time, all will unfold in a bizarre, surreal, and beautiful way. I don't know what I'll be doing. But, I know that God has a plan for everything and in His time, everything will work out and I'm sure that I'll look back and say in the words of Jon Foreman, "Why do I worry? Why do I freak out?"

So, friends. As y'all have walked beside me these last few months, and for those of you who have been following me via this blog, I want to leave you with these thoughts.

Please continue to pray for us as we're continuing to meet new people and spreading the Word as we travel.

Until next time. Cheers,
Jon