Hope everyone had a good Labor Day weekend. Pardon the fragmented nature of this blog post.

I was thinking these last few days about how I managed to ruin some things because I let my personal desires get in the way. Actually, a lot of things. Friendships. Working relationships. Even my educational path.

What a sad way to spend my time, right? Regretting things and wondering, "What could have been" because at the time, I did ask, "What can this be if I were to do this or that?" and acted on that. And after much thought, I came to the conclusion that I was totally an idiot. I came to the conclusion that deep down, I felt like I needed to control the situation and just acted.

Maybe some of y'all who read this are experiencing what I went through. Maybe things just aren't going the way that you thought they would. Finances. Friendships. And everything in you is screaming, "DO SOMETHING! YOU'RE KILLING ME SMALLS." Whatever. But just take a moment. Relax.

There's a song by Hillsong titled "Second Chance". Listen to it and read along with the lyrics.

You called my name, reached out your hand,
Restored my life, and I was redeemed,
The moment you entered my life,
Amazing grace, Christ gave that day,
My life was changed,
Went from my shoulders, fell the weight of my sin

So it's with everything I am,
I reach out for your hand,
The hope that changed a second chance I've gained,
On you I throw my life, casting all my fears aside,
How could greater love than this, ever possibly exist

Consume my thoughts, as I rest in you, I'm now in love, with a Saviour, Bearing the marks of his love

So I wait upon you now,
With my hands released to you,
Where a little faiths enough,
To see mountains lift and move,
Yeah and I wait upon you now,
Dedicated to your will,
To this love that will remain,
A love that never fails

It says in the book of Matthew, "Seek FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

I think in all those situations that I somewhat regret, I wasn't seeking His kingdom, His righteousness. Rather, I think I was satisfying a desire to make things better.

It's interesting that the section heading in my bible says, "Do not be anxious" I don't think I was being anxious about the things... rather, I suppose I wasn't willing to see the big picture. Or maybe that IS being anxious... not waiting to see everything unfold in His time.

The word says that God provides the birds of the air with everything. The flowers of the field. Jesus provided EVERYTHING we would need, no? Our eternal salvation. And I think we often times forget to remember that ultimately, that's what we need. When we don't seek His face, seek His kingdom, His righteousness, we lose sight of the importance of what Jesus did.

I was so wrapped up in seeing if I could make things work out to provide a better (honestly speaking, easier, more comfortable) situation for myself, that I had a momentary lapse in realizing that the Lord had already provided everything I would need.

I think in order to seek the kingdom, you need to start by realizing that there is a King. If you don't recognize or know that there is a king, how do you know that the king reigns over a kingdom? Know our King Jesus. And realize what He did for us. Receive the grace that the Lord has poured out.

Also, accept the forgiveness that He offers through the cross.

Let's strive to remember our Lord for what He has done. Seek Him daily. Give thanks to Him. Rest in His presence.

Thank you Father.