I wanna go back.

Revelation 2:1-7:

¹"To the angel of the church in Ephesus write:
These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands: ²I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. ³You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. ⁴Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. ⁵Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. ⁶But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. ⁷He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God."

When a specific passage comes up multiple times in a day, I can't just sit there and think it's by random chance. This is the passage that kept coming up for me today.

Is this a wakeup call for me? A warning against my ever-growing callousness to the AoG doctrine my school tries to push on me?

Maybe I need to stop worrying about what the preacher is saying and focus more on the one he's preaching about.

Maybe in my heart, I need to go back to where I was when I wasn't wrapped up comparing their theology against my beliefs.

Maybe in my mind I need to stop whining about that one frequency on the female vocals that makes my ear drums rattle and instead, meditate on the words.

Maybe I need to remember what it was like when I was so on fire for Jesus. When I was satisfied with even an obscure bit of scripture and could sit and meditate on it without feeling bothered. Where I could listen to and sing the same song over and over again for hours because the words, "Here I am to worship" welled up deep inside my soul. Where my legs falling asleep didn't hinder me from prayer. I see, "the heights from where I've fallen."

I wanna go back.